happy mother's day!!

we watched Posiedon at Greenbelt 3 today after we had dinner at Pasha (the mediterrenean resto)...after watching that movie...my dream of working at a cruiseline ship as a chef immediatly flushed right out of me!!! O___o i know..im such a wimp!! funny thing is...i like watching scary movies...but the impression of the scary movie kinda lingers in me for awhile..so in short..im a coward...though getting scared is sort of a good thing for me...

i immediatly realize in short split seconds the people that are important to me...you know how it is when we watch scary movies...we get into these roles in our minds the "what-if" situations...okaaaay....so maybe not everyone does it...but i do...anyways...i just suddenly remember all sorts of people...and how i usually take these people for granted...like my mom for example...

not everything's peaceful as it seems in the household lately...my parents are pretty much disappointed with us (meaning their children..me and my siblings). my brother is getting married on november already...but even when its like 6 months away...he doesnt really care much about the family his in...when my dad asks a favor from him..my brother disagrees with my dad and a long fight begins...(verbal only)...

then there's my older sister...she's obviously weak (physically) and yet she stubbornly choses to go to work...and yet even when she goes to work...its my parents who drives her to work and picks her up after!!! and her working hours arent that favorable at all...giving my parents a hard time....

then my little sister...she's already 13 yrs old and still she acts like a little kid...its cause she's the youngest and she was (not spoiled but) "babied" (if such a word exists) alot...and now, small scoldings make her cry!! geeez.....

and ofcourse, it wouldnt be fair to my siblings if i dont include myself! what my parents dont like about me is that i go out of the house alot....i know i more of the go-girl in the house...but its not like i just go out and have fun all the time...usually when i get out of the house its when i go to my parish activities...although whenever i go out for whatever reason it may be...my parents see it as lakwacha...i cant blame them..and ive thought about it actually...i always go out of the house to help other people and their families...and yet in my own house...my own family...its broken...so...as much as possible now...i try not to go out of the house and help out more with the household chores, etc.

the only issue that's going around in the house is gratitude...its not being shown around enough...from my 18 years of living here...my siblings aren't the type to show any emotion...its like they're too shy to show any at all!!! and for the record...nobody greeted my mum a "happy mother's day" except for me and my brother's gf!!! geeez....its really sad...now when i think about it more...i realize the lessons that were taught to me by my CLE teacher before..."households today are no longer homes of love and understanding...since the definition of a family has changed into a utilitarian". we live together in the house as a family but we dont act like a family...

its sad....but i'll try my best to stay strong...although compared to others...im sure this is nothing...but i dont want to lose this "nothing"..because its the only thing i am bounded by blood...